Sunday, April 29, 2012

Quick Marathon Update

I survived my second marathon.  Just posting so you all know I'm alive.  I'm going to write a full race recap on the marathon but it might have to wait until next weekend.  I can't rush a recap for something this important!!  lol.

I will tell you, I didn't hit the goals I had all.  BUT I'm not disappointed in myself at all either.  It's weird because I thought for sure that I would be if I didn't at least beat my old time from the Chicago Marathon last year but how can I be disappointed for something that I gave 100% towards?  I put everything I had into finishing this marathon. I even contemplated quitting a few times (I really truly did), and I contemplated walking the last 10 miles but knew I had more in me than that.  So considering I never quit, I never gave up, I even kept running as much as I possibly could until the very end...that in my book is success!!

My final time was 5:02.  My 2011 Chicago Marathon time was 4:53.  That is not bad at all for the amount of training I missed due to injuries that I had the entire training season and for how crappy I felt this time around.  Ohhhh, I will tell me more about all of this and my plans for my Chicago marathon in my recap.

I'll post the race recap by next weekend!  I hope everyone that had runs (not "the runs"...but races) this weekend had a fantastic time!

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Illinois Marathon - Goals and Plans

I want to thank everyone on here for the support on my last post about my marathon goals and my friends that gave me some advice.  After listening to what everyone had to say and thinking about what I would really like to accomplish, I decided to revise my goals slightly. 

It was brought to my attention that my lengthy list of goals should be cut down and possibly only include a goal and a backup goal, to which I agreed.  It was also brought to my attention that one reason I might have made a long list of goals is because I'm afraid of failing.  I'm afraid of setting a goal and not acheiving it.  So by including goals such as "just finishing", I'm (almost) guaranteed of acheiving at least 1 of these goals no matter how I do...unless of course I don't finish.  But going into a marathon or any run, you don't go in thinking, "Well, I don't care, maybe I just won't finish this one."  You go in because you want to finish.  That goal is already a given. 

Needless to say, I agreed with all of this right away.  It didn't dawn on me that was why I was setting that long list of goals until someone said it.  And right away, I knew they were right.  I was afraid of failing.  No one likes to fail.  But a marathon is a really huge physical and mental challenge.  Yes, I've already done one.  But no one can predict what race day might be like or what I might feel like on that day.  I was already scared because I've missed a huge number of training miles in March alone and some in April.  I hadn't been sleeping at all but didn't know why.  Ironically after this conversation, I've been sleeping better.  I guess I had a lot of worry on my mind.


So my goals are to come in with a finish time of 4:45 with an ultimate goal of 4:30.  I'd really be happy with anything under my last marathon time of 4:53 though.  And even though I was told that I shouldn't feel like I failed if I didn't beat that time, I probably will.  I'll still be happy I finished and my sense of "failure" will probably depend on how good I felt during the marathon or how it went regardless of the time.  But right now I'm shooting for between 4:30-4:45.


1.  Pace - Another thing that I was worrying over was pace.  I try not too worry too much about pace when I run.  I run based on how I'm feeling that day.  With the marathon, I wanted to start with a pace group, if possible.  But the pace groups were 4:30 and 4:45. goal times.  If I start with the 4:30 pace group (10:18 pace), I'm not sure I can keep that up over the course of a marathon.  If I start with the 4:45 pace group (10:53 pace), I'm feeling like that is too slow to start with and essentially puts me too close to my previous time.  I don't have much wiggle room if I fall off of that pace.  I thought about starting on my own pace of about 4:35 finish time (10:30 pace).   

I know a few training friends that are starting with the 4:30 pace group (10:18).  And when I try to run a 10:30 min mile, I tend to want to run faster.  My last run I was planning on 10:30's and I was running a lot of 10:04-10:16 miles (and that was me trying to run a 10:30).  Granted it wasn't a marathon.  So my decision now, and after talking to my former pace leader, is to start with the 4:30 pace group.  I can run a few miles, see how I'm feeling. If after a little while, I need to adjust, I will. 

2.  Break it up -  Another plan I've made for the marathon is to break the marathon up into manageable chunks.  Last time, Kelly from Running Kellometers and I started the Chicago Marathon together.  She mentioned that someone told her to break it up into chucks of 6 miles.  It's kind of a mental game.  Just like a regular run out 6 miles and back 6 miles. Then run out 6 miles and back 6 miles.  Yes, I realize that's only 24 miles. Stick with me here! 

At that time during the marathon, I tried to implement that plan.  But the 6 mile chucks were too huge for me.  So this time around, I'm breaking my marathon into chunks of 4 miles for the first 20 miles.  I only have to run 4 miles 5 times.  Then I have to run 3 miles twice.  I'm not sure if this will work or if this involves too much math.  Face it, when I'm running, I can't do math AT ALL!!  Simple math is almost impossible! (If I've run 6 miles and I have to go 18 miles but the water is in another 3 = ...uh.... True Story!!).  A way to help me is that I'm going to write my goal times on my arm in my chunks (every 4 miles then 3 miles). 

3.  Walk Breaks - I'm also going to use these chunks as goal walking breaks.  Granted, in the later miles, I'm not fooled, I may have to walk more.  If I do, that's ok.  This is just my guideline.  If I'm at mile 11 and I want to walk, I know I just have to make it to mile 12 for my walk break.  It might help.  It's a similar mentality to picking a landmark and running to that (ex. I can make it to that light pole, I can make it to that driveway).


I was asked if I have any pre-marathon food rituals.  I'm almost always deadset on my oatmeal and a banana.  I've since added peanut butter to my really long runs hoping the added protein helps.

But there was one thing that I mentioned that I think is a little hilarious.  I'm completely afraid of hyponatremia (not hilarious), which is essentially an imbalance of water to salt, or being over hydrated and not having enough sodium in the body.  Look it up for a more technical definition. 

Anyway, I was completely afraid of this before the Chicago Marathon too.  I wanted to make sure I was eating a little extra sodium the week before.  So I decided a good idea was to eat exactly 1 serving of pretzels every day the week before the marathon.  I'm not a huge pretzel person. Sometimes I eat them, sometimes not.  So last time, I counted out 1 serving of pretzels (per the bag, it was 17 pretzels).  Now, I'm aware I have no idea if this made any difference at all!  I'm guessing not really.  But since I did it last time, and I did not fall victim to hyponatremia, I am consuming exactly 1 serving of pretzels every day this week too (although this time the bag says 1 serving is 22 pretzels).  Yes, this is just a quirk I have acquired.  And talking about it makes me giggle a little inside.

A serving of pretzels
Happy Marathon!!  I will not be posting again before Saturday.  And I will probably not do a race recap for several days.  Therefore, I may just post a little blurb telling you all I'm alive!

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Marathon Goals

Thanks for the encouragement from my last post regarding all my stupid minor injuries.  I felt like it was kind of a "whiny" post (would you like some cheese with that whine?) and slightly negative, but it was the truth on the way my marathon training has been.  And as there were downs, there were ups too.  Right now, I'm feeling much better.  I still have a small amount of discomfort in both ankles and my one knee, but I've been stretching, foam rolling, drinking more water, taking it easy on my runs.  I feel like this is all helping and the discomfort is pretty minimal right now.  So with the home stretch still underway (less than 2 weeks until the big day), I've been thinking a lot about my marathon goals.

First and foremost, my goal is always to just finish a run, especially a long run.  And the marathon is definitely a long run!

Because I always think it's good to challenge yourself, I like having several different goals.  Kind of like a 1st, 2nd or 3rd place finish for myself (since I'll never actually come in 1st, 2nd or 3rd place in a marathon!).  Therefore, this is how my "places" or "goals" stack up for me.  They are in order from minimum goals to highest goals.

1. Minimally, I just want to finish the marathon!

2. The next goal would be to beat my first marathon time from the 2011 Chicago Marathon which was 4:53:06 (11:11 average pace).

3. The next goal is to come in under an 11 minute mile pace (no more than 10:59 average pace).

4. The next goal is to come in under 4:45 (10:53 average pace)...Bronze medal.

5. The next goal is to come in around an average pace of 10:30 min per mile...Silver medal.

6. Final ultimate goal would be to finish as close to a 4:30 (10:18 average pace) as possible...Gold Medal.  I do not think this is possible for this marathon at all actually due to the way my training has gone.  But you never really know what marathon day will bring, so this is my 1st place goal.  I'd be happy with a bronze medal though.

What are your thoughts on these goals?

Here's what I'm thinking.  Yes, I'd be happy to just finish.  But I'd be a little disappointed with not beating my old marathon time. If I don't beat my old time, I'll be blaming my injuries throughout the training.  I've had to skip runs, decrease miles, run slower.  Of course, it's just an excuse.  It's a valid excuse, but an excuse nonetheless.  However, I will say, I'm pretty proud of the fact that I've only missed one long run (a cutback 12 miler, and shortened a cutback 14 miler to 12 miles).  So I've done well in the long run department, which gives me some confidence.

If I can at least make it to a 4:45 finish time, I'll be thrilled.  The dilemma I'm having is what pace to run to start the marathon.  Typically I run with how I feel that day.  But I don't want to start out too fast at all.  But I don't want to start out too slow either.  I know you can always pick it up later in the marathon, but will I want to pick it up at mile 18 or 20?  And at that point, will it matter with the time if I shave 30 seconds off each mile for the last 6 miles?  I guess that's 3 minutes but I'm not sure I'll be in a huge hurry at mile 20.

With that said...I was considering starting with a pace team.  The pace teams, for those that are not familiar, hold signs with an expected finish time.  So if you run with a 4:45 pace team, they will keep you on pace throughout the marathon to run a 4:45 time (or a 10:53 average pace).  I know from past experiences that pace teams aren't always accurate.  They should be but everyone is human.  I also know I've never actually stuck with a pace team.

So here is my problem...rather, here is what I'm making a problem.  The two pace teams that run in the 10 min range are the 4:30 pace team (10:18 average pace per mile) or the 4:45 (10:53 average pace per mile).  Here is what I'm thinking:  The 10:18 average pace is too fast for me to maintain for the marathon so I'm not starting with them.  But I feel that the 10:53 average pace is too slow to start out with.  Ideally, I would like to run 10:30 average pace (this would come in at an approximate finish time of 4:35:18).  That would be so sweet!!  But if I fall a little from that pace later in the marathon, I still have about 10 minutes to be able to still make my 4:45 finish time goal, which essentially is the 10:53 pace).  But if I START at the 10:53 pace and loose it a little, I'm cutting it too close to my 4:53 last marathon time!

So, I think I'm making this too difficult!  I think I might just start without a pace group at a nice comfortable 10:30 pace time.  Is my thinking silly or backwards?  Of course, everything will depend on the weather.  Last I checked on an extended forecast, the weather was supposed to be a high of 66 and sunny, which I'm guessing means temps around 50 and sunny for the marathon.  Of course a lot can change by marathon day.

I can't wait to see which goal I end up meeting at the end (since I know I'll at least meet the 1st goal of finishing).  I almost don't care if my legs fall off and I have to army crawl to the finish. I'm finishing. 

Of course, Kelly from Running Kellometers will be running about 10 miles in the second half with me.  Not sure exactly yet if it's around mile 14-24 but regardless, it will be a big help!  I truly appreciate the support this will give me!

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Final Countdown - Training Review

It's the final countdown to my first marathon of 2012.  And right about now I'm regretting signing up for two this year!  In fact, right about now I'm regretting signing up for THIS one. 

To say this training season has been harder is a slight understatement.  Right from December (the month before I started training), I was struggling.  I didn't run for 3 weeks due to my knee, saw a doctor who said it was runners knee.  He also said I had a weak ass, extremely inflexible and weak hips and fallen arches. 

Then came training starting the week after Christmas and I struggled due to running at night all the time and sometimes cold temps (even though it was a great winter).  I was feeling defeated during my long runs due to the location and the massive hills I had to run for them.  I was feeling slow compared to other runners.  Everything was getting to me.

My next minor injury at the end of January/beginning of February was a muscle strain in the calf.  This was extremely painful and I couldn't even hardly walk for an entire weekend plus some days!  I skipped a few of my training days, saw a chiropractor and bought compression sleeves for my calves. After this injury, I had a little epiphany.   I was too concerned with speed.  I was too concerned with other runners.  I was too concerned with some little races I had signed up for and PR'ing those runs.  I came to the realization that my main concern with the marathon and staying healthy for it.  The other runs didn't matter this year.

After my little epiphany, I started running great!  The weather was great for February too which helped.  Kelly and I created a Thursday night run group which is always a lot of fun!  My pace actually got faster even though I wasn't trying!  I felt great...for about a week (or two)!  How feeling great can be so short-lived sometimes! 

Then came March.  My worst month.  How I despise you, March!  Just when I'm feeling good, a wrench gets thrown in.  Why can't things be easy?  I know, I know.  The hard makes you appreciate the easy even more.  After my 16 mile run, my left ankle was sore.  Then after being on it all day the following Sunday, it was swollen.  I got extremely nervous.  I went in just for a free injury screening and was told it was tendinitis.  I was relieved that's all it was.  I was advised to not run for 1.5 weeks.  She gave me a whole list of exercises to do.  Well, not only was it tendinitis but again I was told I have a weak ass, extremely inflexible and weak hips, fallen arches...seems as though I was told this before??

I happily complied with not running for 1.5 weeks.  I still would have 6 weeks until the marathon!  So rest, ice, cross train.  Of course, mother nature wanted to stick it to me even more and the temps skyrocketed from 30 degrees to 80 degrees during my no running week!  I wanted to trip every runner I saw!  After the week I skipped of running, I scaled back the following weeks runs just to get back into it and not overuse my ankle.  And I also had my 18 mile run coming up, which I wanted to be able to do.  I was definitely nervous because I missed a lot of running prior to that 18 miles.  But I did the 18 miles with relatively minor pain. 

But I should have realized something that run.  My knee was starting to bother me a little more than normal. I chalked it up to my "usual" knee pain and thought nothing else about it.

But of course, then my knee started to really hurt the following week.  I bought a knee brace, tried icing it, tried doing ice baths.  But the week before my 20 miler, the pain was pretty severe.  I knew it actually was probably my IT band because of where the pain was located.  And it wasn't in the bone of my knee.  It was at the front/side of my knee.  The week before my 20 miler, I did 1 run.  I was shooting for 8-10.  I managed to squeak out 7 but not before I had to walk the last mile home, literally with tears in my eyes (yes, I overreact sometimes).

I just felt like I couldn't catch a break.  There wasn't a lot of time left before the marathon.  If I can't even run 8 miles, how can I run 26.2 in 3.5 weeks!  Once again I was left feeling defeated.  My 20 miles was in a few days.  I wanted to run it.  I didn't want to hobble through it.  I didn't want to injure myself more.  What I really wanted to do was give up!  I remember thinking, "What if I can't do the marathon??"  I decided to make another appointment with the chiropractor (which I had already seen a few times before this).  I remember telling her once I had knee pain when I went in for something else and literally walked out with no knee pain.  I was hoping she could help me this time.  She got me in Thursday (my 20 miles scheduled for Friday).  She's a rough one!  There is lots of pain and bruising involved with her but if she gets the job done, I don't care!  And she went to work!  In fact, I think I made her sweat as in the middle of it, she had to take off her jacket.  I'm pretty sure this was just as painful as giving birth!  And even though I still had some knee pain when I left, it felt about 80% better.  She also said she thought it was my IT band. 

For my 20 mile run, I had two options.  I could run a straight, flat, slightly boring path with two people I've been training with the entire training season or I could run a hilly loop (twice) with lots of scenery that I've never run on with the guy that I will be sharing a room with for the marathon.  At first I thought the straight flat path.  Then I changed my mind as a lot of my F'N Runner Group was going to be at the hilly loop running.  I thought the change of scenery might help. I also thought the crushed gravel trail might be good for my knees instead of the normal hard concrete.  Plus I needed some quality bonding time with my new roomie!  I'd say there is plenty of bonding time to be had during a 20 mile run that spans at least 3:30 hours!

About 15 miles in, I did regret nothing running the straight flat path.  Physically I felt ok. I just felt really tired.  We walked a bit, then started running but I just felt like I couldn't do it!  I had to stop again and walk. I  apologized to my running partner for stopping.  I remember telling him, "I'm just so tired!"  Images of a nice flat path crossed my mind several times!  I couldn't believe I still had 5 miles left to run.  Almost an hour left of running!  I thought that would be a nice point to start crying!  But I didn't do it.  My training partner gave me a pep talk telling me it's ok to feel tired.  I had been running for about 2:40 hours!  So we took a slightly longer walk, I took some Gu and some water.  And just started running again.  At some point I looked down at my legs as they were running and thought, "How are you still moving?"  I seriously asked my legs this question.  I tend to lose my mind during 20 mile runs.  At that point it's mind over matter.  I get asked this question a lot: "How do you do it? How do you run that long or that far?"  My response is always the same, "I don't know. I just do."  You don't wake up one day and run 20 miles. You build up to it.  You run when it's cold. You run when it's raining. You run when it's hot.  You run when it's windy.

And we finished. 
Me and my roomie Don after the 20 mile run.  Ignore the wild and crazy strands of my hair!
I'm kind of liking the twin shirts!!

Of course, not without some minor discomfort on my right "other" foot/ankle.  I mean, really??  So, I've been resting and icing it since Friday.  I went to the gym Monday for some cross training.

I'm also going to stretch a lot more since I've been slacking a lot!  And I'm going to make friends with my foam roller which I forgot existed because I hate it so much!  But hopefully it will help that dreaded IT band.

Monday, April 2, 2012

Running in Columbus

Happy April!  Where is this year going?  I'll tell's going too fast!!

Last weekend I was out of town visiting family/friends in Columbus, Ohio.  Knowing that I'm training for a marathon, I was of course going to be doing a long run out of town.  Luckily it was a cutback week and I was scheduled for only 14 miles.  Unfortunately I'm suffering more aches and pains due to my running.  After last Wednesday nights run of 9 miles (which felt great and I ran in the city along the lake), my knee started feeling incredibly painful!  I was already told that I need to submerge my entire left ankle/foot in a bucket of ice water (instead of just my usual icing).  Since my right knee was acting extremely painful, I decided on Thursday night to just submerge my entire lower body in an ice bath.

I've been afraid of ice baths ever since I found out people do this crazy thing!  I'm a hot hot hot shower kind of person!  Even in the summer, I take hot showers.  It has to be about 100 degrees for me to put cooler water on in the shower.  So the thought of an ice bath seemed like complete torture.  And during my marathon training last year, even though people swore by them, I never tried one.  But with all the minor injuries I've been having this time around, I decided it was worth a shot.  I got some tips from other "ice bathers" and decided to use them.  I put on a bathing suit, turned music on real loud, put a towel around my shoulders, grabbed my phone and went in.  And you know what??  It was complete torture!  Glad to know my instincts were right!  But I played on my phone and facebooked while I was shivering.  I stayed in for 15 minutes and got out.  I dried off, put on sweats and sat on the couch with a blanket for about 30 minutes trying to warm up.  My legs and feet were numb and red!  After the 30 minutes, I still needed to actually shower and took a hot shower (does this defeat the ice bath?).  Even though I took a hot shower, my lower body actually never warmed back up for the rest of the night!  Did it help?  I'm not sure.  I will be trying it again though.

Now to my weekend.  I was going to be in Columbus, Ohio this past weekend.  I still needed to do my long run of 14 miles.  I was thinking I would just do it alone by myself.  I was trying to look for trails that would be good to run on.  Never running in Ohio (other than the Capital City Half Marathon in 2011), I had no knowledge of the trails.  I have heard of people seeking out run groups when they travel for safety reasons and I thought I would try emailing a few and see what response I got.

I knew I could run it alone.  I wasn't bothered to try to run it alone.  I know that sometimes you will not have people to run with and you have to be comfortable running alone.  But I actually got 3 responses to my emails about running with different run groups.  The first one I received was the one that I liked the best.  They were running along a popular trails (around 20 minutes from where I was staying).  They had a few people that run 10:00-10:15 minute miles.  He said they were going to be running 10 miles.  They had water and gatorade placed every 1-2 miles.  I thought this sounded perfect!

I decided that I was going to take them up on the offer of running with them.  It's always nicer to run with people rather than running alone!  I was a little nervous to meet up with them as you never really know what to expect.  But I've met lots of new run friends this year and it's made it a little easier to run with people I don't know.  Plus, what can it hurt?  They were going to be running 10-10:15 min miles, right???  I could do that!  Going into this day however, I changed my run plans.  My knee was still really sore.  I even bought a knee brace for it to help with some extra support.  I had decided my cutback week was gong to be cut back even more, and I figured I would just do the 10 miles with the group.  I need to try and help minimize further injuries if I want to make it to the marathon.  Even though I know the importance of following a training schedule for the marathon and the importance of long runs, I also know the importance of rest for recovery.  If you are injured, you won't be able to even run the marathon.

I get to my run group and everyone seemed pretty friendly.  The coordinator said a few people had gotten there early to put in a couple extra miles.  We waited for them to return.  The group was really small and I guess there were many people that didn't show.  (I since found out it's a small group anyway that was just started the spring before).  The group's name is the Columbus Runners.  As it neared 9:00 am (they start later than my normal groups), I thought it appeared I'd be running alone so I quickly went to my car and grabbed my headphones and phone so I could listen to music.  Then I was told that these two people were my pace group.  They looked really young but I think they were in their mid 20's. 

Most of the trail was pretty nice, except for a few times we were running alongside the busy roads.  The first few miles with my running partners seemed pretty good.  They were running right about a 10 minute mile pace.  Well, my running partners this day were rather new runners. They had only been running about a year and were training for their first half marathons. The guy was training for the Capital City Half (which I did the year before) and the girl was training for her first half in Germany, where she is from. I also found out near the middle of my 10 mile run that my partners were a little speedier than a 10 min mile pace.  They run their week day runs at sub 9:00 pace.  They are trying to take the long runs easy and slower (hence the 10 min pace they are supposed to run), but as I know with other runners, when you are used to running fast, you have a tendency to run a little faster at times.

This is what happened during my long run Saturday.  The first few miles I noticed when they seemed to speed up, they would notice it and say they needed to slow up.    But after the first 3 miles, they forgot.  Me, being the new person, didn't want to hold anyone back from what they wanted to run.  I also didn't want to be a weak link.  I felt like the "older lady with bad knees" running next to these "kids"!!  lol.  I didn't want to slow up and show any weakness while running with them. 

It turned out, the water placements were farther out than they were supposed to be...they should have gone out 5 miles but ended up being 6 miles.  Ok, so now I knew I was running 12 instead of 10.  Oh well, still a cut back from my 14 that was on my schedule.  With 2.5 miles left, I decided to slow up from the group and run a little slower pace. I was tired and my knee was starting to bother me a little.  I told them to go ahead.  The 11th mile, I ran completely alone.  I decided to run the 12th mile with the organizer who was a little behind me.  I decided to do that because I was unsure of the route and didn't want to make a wrong turn!  The organizer was a little slower of a runner.  I decided it was ok to run with him and run the last mile slower as I had already done more miles than I anticipated that day. 

After the 10 miles, my garmin beeped saying I was finished (liar!) and the "I won!"  I always just set my garmin for a 10 min mile pace.  The majority of the time lately though, I don't make that pace.  I've been running about 10:20 min mile average.  So when you don't make your goal pace, the garmin does nothing.  It just says the run is finished.  When you make your goal pace, the garmin will tell you "You Win!".  So when I completed the first 10 miles and my garmin beeped saying I was "done" said "You Win!"  I almost forgot my watch said that!  lol.  So this means that my first 10 miles were a sub 10:00 min mile.  For a long run for me, it's a little fast.  But secretly, I enjoyed knowing that I was able to run that pace for a 10 mile run. 

My total average for the 12 miles ended up being a 10:03 pace.  My average pace for the first 10 miles was a 9:57.  In fact, this is how the miles stacked up:

Mile 1: 9:49                                      Mile 7: 10:16
Mile 2: 10:05                                    Mile 8: 10:00
Mile 3: 10:02                                    Mile 9: 10:02
Mile 4: 9:52                                      Mile 10: 10:09 (this is where I started running alone)
Mile 5: 9:41                                      Mile 11: 10:16
Mile 6: 9:39 (yeah...I felt this one!)      Mile 12: 10:47 (this is the mile I ran with the organizer)

Overall, this was probably the fastest long run I've had in a long time.  Even though most of the miles are right around 10:00 min mile pace, my marathon goal pace is around 10:18.  That will put me at a 4:30 finish time.  Without being negative, I almost don't think I will be able to accomplish that goal this time around.  This training has been harder and right now I'm just trying to finish.  I will be extremely disappointed if I don't beat my old time of 4:53, which is an 11:11 pace.  And I actually would really like to come in under 4:45 at a minimum.  I don't want to put too much pressure on myself though as you never know what will happen race day!