Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Back to Square One

Thank you all for your comments on my last post regarding lacking motivation. I'm happy to report I'm forcing myself getting back my motivation! I've walked on the treadmill, run outside in the cold, and went to the gym. I'm trying to find my groove but it's there. And I'll find it.

I'm going to be honest here. What's the point of having a blog if you aren't honest, right? I joined Weight Watchers (WW)... again.

Now, I know you are supposed to be happy with your body the way it is now. I get it. I really do. But I've gained weight. A lot of weight. And it's getting in the way of the things I want to do, the way I want to be. I need to do something about it.

For a few of my long time blog friends, you know I actually started this blog while on WW and my initial posts were about my daily food (don't worry, I'm not going to do that to you).  I lost a total of 91 pounds and made lifetime. Lifetime is when you get to your goal weight and maintain it and you can go to WW for free. That was in 2010.   My "goal" weight wasn't too strict or low of a weight. It was at the top end of my BMI weight on the chart. So it's completely doable. Of course that was before running full marathons! We all know about that weight gain, right??

The "before" pic in 2007 (although I was down 25 lbs here)
Goal weight made in July 2010
(I suppose I should do a new "before" picture for this current attempt)

But if I'm being honest with you, I feel like a failure. I'm not back to my original heaviest weight, not even close really. But I've gained a good 40+ pounds back. Yes, 40+ pounds. 5 pounds turns into 10 pounds turns into 15 pounds. Well, you know the drill.  And frankly, it's depressing.  It's depressing to think I failed at this.

So, here I am again. Back to square one. Square one with food habits. Square one with running.

But it's ok. It takes time to change habits. It takes courage to recognize you need to do something and make a change. So instead of thinking I'm a failure, I'm going to say that I have the courage to make a change.

14 comments:

  1. We both know Weight Watchers works if we work the program. I started the new program full-in yesterday. I mean full-in, because I wasn't 100% sure I wanted to accept the new program, but I'm in.

    I am very excited for you. You have the courage to make the change and you have the tools. You can do this, and I know you will be successful.

    I do have something for you think about though. You created this blog originally as one of those tools when you were originally losing weight. Just think about that. Get to Goal...whatever that goal is, and now you have another goal ahead of you. Weekly meetings are certainly an asset, but blogging apparently was also an asset for you. So why not use it as a go-to this time. Writing on your blog about the experience and reading others helped us get through a day sometimes and keep moving forward.

    Hang in there and keep that awesome positive attitude. You can do it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Reen - thank you so much for your thoughtful and thought provoking comment. You are so right! And I think I will blog more about it and my experience with it. It definitely does help. My coworker is doing it too so we will probably support each other.

      Delete
  2. I didn't follow you during your weight loss blogging period, but I'm not opposed to reading it now! Always interesting to see other people's journeys.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Lauren. I started blogging when I had 10 lbs left since I had such a hard time getting those off and was reading other people's blogs. I hope it works again this time!

      Delete
  3. I absolutely understand where you are right now. I gained 26 lbs over the course of the 2014 move. Then 2015 brought so much stress/depression, I really couldn't even focus on anything but trying to get thru each day. I managed to get my shxx together in Sept/Oct/Nov and lose 16 lbs but have now been sick for weeks and not eating well. So I'm going to put down my chocolate right now. And yes, I was actually eating some chocolate squares. I'm going to go get a big glass of water. And I'm going to get my shxx back together AGAIN too. I'll get on the scales tomorrow for a real weight but I'm guessing I'm currently 13 lbs away from my goal/normal weight. I have a huge season in front of me and I plan to smash some PRs, so I need to do this. Now. So know you are not alone. Weight maintenance is a constant struggle for me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Amanda! You did great by losing 16 lbs last fall!! I hope to do that now. And 13 lbs, you can totally do that! Good luck with your goals and racing season! I know you can do this!

      Delete
    2. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

      Delete
  4. Amanda, you are the farthest thing from a failure there is out there! You are incredibly inspirational and you've never ceased to amaze me with your positive spirit and your hard work.

    I am a Weight Watchers member and it's an ongoing challenge for me to maintain my weight and healthy eating habits. So I totally relate! I'm always here for you if you want to share in the journey together, e.g. exchanging recipes, talking through what works and what doesn't work, etc. I know you are going to achieve all of your goals because you always do!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Emily - thank you! I might have to pick your brain for a few good recipes that are good and easy! And you are so sweet. I appreciate the nice comments.

      Delete
  5. You have a big advantage as you have done it before and know how to do it. Also, you aren't starting from scratch, you are way less than your starting weight in 2007. From my experience losing weight is hard but keeping it off is even harder, so I guess I'm saying is that pretty much everyone who has lost weight has gained at least some of it back. So, keep your chin up - you'll get there! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pete - you are so right. I've done it before and I can do it again! Thank you!

      Delete
  6. Thank you for your honest blogging. I can relate. 2013 was MY year - physically at my best & smallest, each half marathon (with the exception of my 2nd which was all about my friend running we her 1st) was a PR over the last (I did 4 that year). I loved myself, I could look in the mirror and smile, liking what I saw - it was all there. Funny, but at the time I wasn't where I wanted to be but looking back it was all good. I'm doing WW too - started about 1/16 last year. The last 2 years have been an awful roller coaster that had me spinning the wrong direction and in some dark places. It's hard to pull out. I too am having to start over - from scratch, and I probably have 40-50 # to lose and lots of inches. But...I'm determined that 2016 is my year - it has to be!! You can do this! You have the determination, the drive and the support! You got this!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Joyelle - thanks for sharing your story with me! My running "peak" was winter 2012/2013. I try to be ok with where I am now but I know I'm not happy with things the way they are. We will both get there! Good luck!

      Delete
  7. Good luck! I've gained almost 30 pounds since my peak running. I honestly feel that doing burlesque has helped me have a healthy attitude about it, probably because I'm surrounded by women of all body types who are just like "whatever, I'm hot." But at the same time, I know I don't make the healthiest choices sometimes.

    ReplyDelete