Monday, July 2, 2012

In other words...(non-running related)

(Beware...theraputic post to follow)...

I'm feeling in a "quotable" mood today (not sure exactly where these came from)... so maybe you feel like this...

"It’s okay. It’s okay to want someone you can’t have. It’s okay to want something more. It’s okay to cry when you’re hurt, and it’s okay to stay mad at someone who hurt you. Believe it or not, it’s always going to be okay. That’s just how it works. Sometimes things don’t work out how you want them to, and most of the time, it seems like they never will. But eventually, everything is going to iron out some way or another. You just have to believe, keep your faith, and move on."

Or maybe you feel like this...

"Sometimes, we’re too into the moment to look at the big picture. We fail to see things in perspective because we’re too absorbed in what’s taking place at that very instance. The thing is we should face reality. Find ourselves from being lost in the moment and think about everything the way it is. Because sometimes being realistic can save us from pain and disappointment."

Or maybe like this???....

"It is completely normal to fear failure, to fear rejection, to fear the future, but it should never stop you from accomplishing a dream, making a friend, or confessing your love. Nothing is for certain and anything can happen. Isn’t that what makes life exciting? Not knowing what will happen next and even though people will tell you it is impossible, will point and laugh at your ways, and will crush your heart over and over again, you will continue to chase your dreams, make as many friends as possible, and pray that when you do find that special someone, they will blush for a moment, twiddle their thumbs, and look into your eyes and say, “I love you too.”

I saw all three of these quotes this morning.  And for some reason, they all made me stop and think. They all resonated with me in some way or the other.  The middle one was the one that really got to me.  Sometimes I get so wrapped up in one minute detail that I fail to see the big picture. I fail to see how I'm reacting to something.  I tend to blame much of the way I'm thinking or feeling on the behaviors of others.  Sure, I may not agree with their reactions/behaviors but it doesn't matter. What matters is how "I" behave, how "I" react.  I can't change what others are going to do or say (or not do or not say).  This is my life and I need to live it the way I want to live it.  Sure, sometimes I wish things were different.  But I won't get anywhere by "wishing". 

ABOUT ME

Now with all that said...with my upcoming triathlon, I've been thinking a lot.  Uh oh...bad things happen when I think! 

I wouldn't necessarily consider myself a dare-devil, a risk-taker, and definitely not an extrovert or outgoing person.  I'm pretty shy.  I don't necessarily go out much (although that may be because I'm also cheap).  I don't have an enormously large group of friends, just some quality friends.  Most people like me but it was also said in my high school yearbooks that most people didn't really know me.  In fact, I got this in MOST of my high school yearbooks...

"I'm really glad I met you this year. Thanks for helping me with my algebra (pick a math class, I probably helped you in it).  You are a really nice and sweet person but you need to talk more!" 

It's true. About 75% of my yearbook is exactly like that!! 

But there are always things I've always done.  Even though I'm quiet, I realize you only live life once.  If I want to do something, I'll do it.  Sometimes I think about it, overanalyze it to death and debate if I should spend money on it...but I'm pretty fortunate for the things I've accomplished and also been crazy enough to scratch off the bucket list! 

I've been fortunate enough to...
- Have an amazing family
- Own my own home
- Have bought all of my cars myself
- Graduated college
- Go to Europe when I was 19
- Travel to many of the states
- Lose 90 pounds (and have kept at least 60 of it off)

I've been crazy enough to...
- Have gone skydiving twice
- Have gone bungee jumping
- Been parasailing
- Run a marathon (or two...)
- Sign up for a sprint triathlon (so excited!)

I can also change my own tire (although I don't like to), play the piano (badly), and drive a stick shift car.

I'm sure these are only a few things that I can think of momentarily.  One thing I'm most proud of myself?  I never give up.  Is something hard?  Did something not go as planned?  Did something upset me? 

Yes, sometimes I feel like giving up.  Yes, sometimes I'll just sit on the couch (in my car, on my bed) and cry like a little baby and sob until I fall asleep and then wake up with my eyes all red and puffy.  But, every day is a new day.  Every minute is a new minute. 

Life is not always easy. No one ever said it would be.  But the best things in life are when you have overcome an obstacle or acheive something you thought was impossible.  If everything was easy, would the outcome be as worth it?  Whether you are struggling at mile 8 of a marathon and have 18.2 miles left of this excruciating quad pain.  Whether you open yourself up to someone you like and things don't end up the way you want it to and you get hurt.  Whether you lose 90 pounds, gain 20-30 back and have to re-fight to lose it again (or at least maintain).

It's the fight that makes everything worth it.  It's what makes the victory sweeter.  It's what puts a smile on your face and tears in your eyes.  Fighting your way though the bad stuff hoping that you will find the good.  Nothing will ever be perfect.  Nothing ever really goes as planned.  But you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep moving forward.  That's what life is all about.

Um...where the hell did this post come from???  Do you feel better?  Do I??  I guess that's still TBD.

HOWEVER...I do feel good about the fact that we get to leave at noon on July 3rd and have July 4th off!  I do feel good I have gotten to spend the last 3 weeks with my nephew before he has to go back to Ohio (I also feel good that he is considering going to college here!!) 

For the 4th of July, it's a tradition, I spend it with my family.  We used to see the fireworks in the hometown I grew up in but they cancelled them a few years ago. Since then, we have been going to the fireworks in my current hometown.  We actually have always walked (which generally takes 1/2 hour).  It's fun.  We act crazy.  We joke around.  We bring blankets.  The walking part is the BEST part. 

Have a safe, happy and healthy Fourth of July!

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