So my life is having ups and downs. I'm trying to breathe and just take it all in stride. I can only control what I can control.
I can control what I put in my mouth. I can control if I write it down and track the points for it. Now, have I been? No. Not really. I actually haven't done too bad though. Yesterday I stopped eating dinner when I was satisfied. I knew I really didn't need to eat the rest and I was going to be fine.
Also the late night phone calls/messaging with a certain someone in Nebraska makes me forget about eating at night. That's a plus! :)
And I have been stepping on the scale to see where I am this week. My official weigh in day is tomorrow but so far, the scale is looking ok. I may have only stayed the same but I'm confident I shouldn't have gained anything. Not bad considering I haven't been tracking.
So I can do better in the food department but at least I'm being mindful of what I'm eating and how often I'm eating. It's kind of the way "real life" works with food.
What can I say. This is an area that I can't control. I can only control how I perform at work but can't control the management's decisions.
A friend at work was fired. She was part-time. The one attorney here never liked her and wanted to fire her when she was pregnant but couldn't legally. I liked her more than anyone else at this stupid place!
Today, I came into work to be told that "things are going to get much worse around here." Yeah, thanks. Don't they know you can get more bees with honey. I just don't get it. But again, I can't control it. I can only control the fact that I can look for a new job!
My cousin is having a house warming/Halloween party tomorrow night. Unfortunately, a tree fell over during the storms in the Midwest earlier this week and knocked their power out. Hopefully Mr. Anonymous will check in here and let me know if they have been able to have it restored. Fingers crossed!
I have been having an internal struggle regarding my personal dating life. I'm an over analyzer. I think and rethink and dissect everything in my life. I do it to the point that things aren't fun anymore but a huge struggle. I'm trying to rid myself of this behavior. Sometimes you just don't have to think. Sometimes you should just do. Life is about having fun!! Not thinking so much you're depressed and your head hurts and you want to curl up in a ball and never leave the house!
So, Ken called (guy #1...the one that lives near me) and asked if I wanted to do something next week on Monday or Tuesday. I said sure. I mean, I don't dislike Ken. I like him, he's nice. I had fun the last time we went out. Maybe there aren't "sparks" there right now, but that's ok. I told him I wasn't sure where I was "at" with this and we agreed to take it slow and get to know each other. Then Ken asked if I wanted to go out to dinner later in the week for his brother's birthday. Uh...no way! I'm not going to meet the family! lol. Hm...sigh!
Then we have Matt (guy #2...the one that lives 450 miles away in Nebraska). If I said that we "got along", that would be an understatement. We clicked from minute one. Of course, it's only phone calls and chat messaging. This is where my internal struggle has been coming in to play. I talk to him for hours, then the next day I think to myself that I don't want to talk to him anymore. I don't want to because we live hours away from each other and I don't want to like him!
I've decided that I'm not going to fight with myself about it. It's ok if we talk and get along great and have fun via phone/computer. There is nothing wrong with that. Why do I have to think so much? He is coming into town the weekend of November 6th for my cousin's party. We are both really looking forward to meeting each other. Hey, if nothing else, I have a new friend. I didn't "waste" my time by talking to him for two weeks. If we meet and there is really something there, then we will have to make decisions. But right now, there are no decisions to be made. I just need to remember that.
So that's my Food, Work, Life in a nutshell! I've learned through all of this that I can be a bit of a control freak. I think it's out of fear. But sometimes you have to just let go and just live life.
Are you a control freak??